Isn’t it strange? A formal meeting is arranged between two strangers and that too in presence of all the family members and then they are asked to come up with their decision, whether they are ready to spend their entire life with each other or not. I still wonder that how few hours meeting can help someone to take such a big and important decision of their life. I know you must be thinking that now days the situation is changed and people take their own time and use their own ways to choose their life partner. They carefully analyze all the aspects and then come to a decision whether they are compatible with each other or not to spend their whole life. Still we all are aware that in last couple of years the cases of marriage break ups are increasing at an increasing rate.
“How we started the relation isn’t important, what holds significance is how beautifully, effortlessly and optimistically we carry and continue the relation.”
May it be arranged marriage or love marriage; whether we choose our life partner with all careful considerations or our spouse is selected by the whole family’s consent, the responsibility that comes along with the relation cannot be overlooked. Once a couple ties nuptial knot, it means they both are bound and connected with each other in this journey called life and both of them then holds equal responsibility to secure the relationship by ensuring that the knot is not untied or broken by any means or ways.
Marriage is defined as “the legally or formally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship”. If we focus on the definition it says that marriage is a union of two people as partners. And partner means people who have different skills, traits and qualities and are together for some purpose; equally sharing risks and profits. Let’s suppose you want to start any business and have sufficient amount of funds to start it, so you’ll prefer to be in partnership with someone who has an idea about the project and not someone who will also provide you funds. So that means we need partners who are complementary to us and not identical and similar.
Similarly, though life partners who are in a relation of marriage are formally united in a personal relationship but we should not forget that they still have their own identities, traits, qualities and opinions. Life partners are like two sides of a coin named as marriage; both the sides are never same, but still are necessary to give coin the value it deserves. We always prefer to be with person who is like us, perhaps to avoid conflicting situations and the moment we realize that our spouse is different from us we feel disappointed and start using all the ways to make the person alike us. We should always keep in mind that when two persons come together, they may have different likes, dislikes, choices, opinions and living style. And if our opinion doesn’t match with the other person it certainly not proves us right and the other person wrong.
We are different and we are supposed to be different but the irony is that we put all our efforts and spend our whole life in changing each other. Instead of accepting and appreciating each other’s choices and competencies we start analyzing and judging each other. And instead of accepting, we start altering our spouses to fit in to our expectations and image of an ideal partner, forgetting that we cannot put the weight of our expectations on the other person.
Life partners are like two wheels of a bicycle, no matter how dirty, old or worn out one of the wheel becomes, the presence of both the wheels only ensure that the journey can be carried forward happily. The moment we start accepting and respecting each other wholly, ignoring the types and number of differences of opinion we have, a smooth ride for the rest of life is assured. Initially, all the events and incidents which we come across in our life while dealing with our partners may seem to be contradictory, but with passage of time we come to understand that these contrasts are necessary for each other’s growth and eventually it becomes complementary making each other complete by fulfilling the entire void within each of us.
“If we have difference of opinion we should try to be indifferent or it might result in differences of hearts”