Is parenting really a difficult and responsible job as many of us think now days? Is it really a job as we have started calling? No doubt becoming a parent increases our responsibility manifolds as now we have to take care of overall development of a child right from his birth till he becomes mature enough to take care of himself.
Let’s understand what parenting means, dictionary says parenting is “The rearing of a child or children, especially the care, love, and guidance given by a parent.” It also says
“Parenting or child rearing is the process of promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development of a child from infancy to adulthood.”
Such a nicely expressed definition of parenting gives us the whole idea of what parenting is or perhaps changes our whole understanding of what parenting is? First of all we have to understand that it is not a job, as job is any work which we do occasionally or regularly in return of monetary rewards which we get. And neither we take nor we expect any monetary rewards from our children for everything which we do for them, so it is not a job as many of us think.
Certainly it’s commendable that we as a parent give best food to our children and ensure that they grow up as a healthy adult, we also emphasis on best of education so that our child can compete with the fast moving world at ease. But very sadly we don’t give much significance to emotional and social well-being of our children. Since many parents who are busy in their professional and social life are unable to spend sufficient time with their children and hence they try to compensate it by fulfilling all their demands, which are at times unreasonable too. And by doing so, they feel that they are making them happy and able to fill the vacuum which is caused by their physical and emotional absence in their lives, ignoring the fact that in the process they are making them emotion less and more materialistic as a person.
Whereas some parents over pamper their child and love watching them being dependent on them. They don’t want their children to grow up and be independent so they keep on doing their little daily chores, though they think they are helping their children but actually they are making them lazy, irresponsible and dependent on others for their work. And such children when turn in grown up adults and go out to face the competitive world, it becomes very difficult for them to survive independently as they have never learned to do so. So either they easily get influenced by the peer group and get indulged in some sort of addictions or if they cannot tolerate the pressure of work and competition, hopelessly they end up by taking their own life.
Our role as a parent holds a great significance, as we have to nurture a child and develop him as a strong and happy adult. We just have to ensure that their physical health, emotional well-being, social needs and intellectual growth is taken care of in an appropriate manner. We are simply playing the role of their caretakers, mentors and well-wishers and we are here to encourage and support their growth and development. Most of the problems arise when we start believing that they are our property and we own them and then we want them to do everything according to our set standards and belief system which we have acquired. We place all our unfulfilled dreams on their tender shoulders and then ask them to walk for rest of their life, forgetting to even ask them about their dreams and even not bothered to find whether they can carry the baggage of our dreams or not.
There’s a continuous conflict between the way we lead our life and the way we think our children should lead their life. We want our children to be disciplined, punctual, lovable, kind, humble, patient, obedient and cheerful, whereas we know that we also lack almost all the qualities when it comes to us. And since our actions communicate something else and we say something else to our children, and as we know that actions speak more than words; our children are also more influenced by what we do and not by what we say to them. The gadgets like mobile phones, i-pads, televisions and laptops have not only reduced but replaced our social interactions in person. And our children are also learning the same from our actions and practicing it in their lives. They need mobiles and i-pads more than they need us.
We talk less and chat more; we smile less and send smileys more. We are technologically more connected and emotionally less connected!
No wonder if our children become smart intellectual robots soon with no emotions and no social circle. And we as a parent should be ready to hold the complete responsibility of this new creation!